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The One Word The English Language Is Missing

Kate Stone Lombardi
5 min readAug 21, 2021
(Chris O’Reiley, Getty images)

The English language is missing a word. Why does no term exist to describe the relationship between fellow mothers-in-law? I’ve tripped over “my daughter’s mother-in-law,” my “son-in-law’s mother,” and the vague “extended family” or “in-laws.” None of these terms begin to capture the intimacy and shared interests between a couple’s respective mothers.

Living through a pandemic brought home the importance of these bonds to me. Both of my adult children and their spouses live across the country. My son, Paul, and his wife, Sara, are in the Bay Area in California. My daughter, Jeanie, and her husband, Andrew, live in Seattle. Because we live in New York and because of COVID-19, my husband and I didn’t see our kids for well over a year.

I haven’t spent much time with Mehreen, my son’s mother-in-law. We met at the kids’ college graduation (Paul and Sara started dating freshman year) and not again until the bridal henna party for their marriage, which took place six years later. Paul and Sara’s wedding was a joyous affair. And even without planning, my blue mother-of-the-bride dress perfectly matched Mehreen’s blue sari. The silver and blue bangles she brought for both of us to wear sealed the symmetry.

Sara’s family immigrated to the United States from Pakistan when Sara was 7 years old. They keep South Asian traditions…

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Kate Stone Lombardi
Kate Stone Lombardi

Written by Kate Stone Lombardi

Journalist/author. Contributor NYT 20+ years. Also WSJ, Time.com, GH, AARP, more. Author: Mama’s Boy Myth (Penguin/Avery 2012). Cook. Besotted grandmother.

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